The Folk Off and Die Band are nabbed by the Peelers
for being completely off their noggins on glue.
The seen-it-all sergeant stares like a goldfish as,
with an easy, open stance and steady elbow,
each band member takes a turn with arrows to hurl
at the dartboard which only they can somehow view:
bish-bash-bosh: the first dart bounces out from the bull
to the lino that does for an oche. Jonjo,
who isn't really that keen on Traditional,
strums a melodious standard before his throw.
Billy the Bodhrán pauses until the moment
when his eyes, ears and wrist are all content to go:
bish-bash-wallop. His third dart riffs away aslant
into the grain of the sergeant's desk. They carry
on playing for hours, even after the sergeant
boots them to the cells. Billy is re-named 'Barney',
Jonjo 'the Phil the Power of Kilrea', and Shane,
the piper, cock-sure, the youngest, most lairily
musical, his lobs as liquid as the loughan
that laps at the edge of his village in Down, becomes
'the new Jocky Wilson', dripping through Bri-nylon,
while Jonjo plucks and Billy-stroke-Barney drums.